Clear communication makes life more pleasant. In my marriage, parenting, and friendships I often say, “Please, talk to me.” How else can I know what is happening in loved ones’ lives, hearts and minds without open communication? But in order for this to happen, I need to be available, open and a good listener – and be able to “read between the lines.” It is also imperative I share my feelings, concerns and needs in order to have a two-way relationship. I have learned it is worth the effort.
This same scenario should happen in our relationships with our doctors. We may need to start the open communication. With solid two-way conversations with our doctors, we learn from one another. Our attitude sets the tone, so I stay positive and realistic in my expectations.
Going to the doctor can be exhausting and affect clear thinking, so I do a couple things to ease my way. I take a copy of my medical history, which includes all my medications. This is particularly important so medical teams can monitor possible drug interactions. I also take a list of questions and new information, such as new symptoms, change in medications and what prescription refills I need.
My doctors have peeked over my shoulder to read my notes. Using our time wisely shows respect. The guessing game of what has happened since our last appointment and what I need explained is settled, question by question. It is all on the table, so to speak. Obviously, I am a list person. I keep a list in my office, in my bedroom and by my reading chair. I write things down as I remember them. Even so, I encourage newly diagnosed people to keep some sort of journal to track symptoms and to keep a list of questions to research and ask their doctors.
I advocate for whole person care. To make this happen, I assist in the effort using tips I have gleaned from others, deciding which ideas work for me. I share with my doctors my daily routine, which includes healthy choices of medication, food, rest, exercise, recreation and relaxation, maintaining spiritual health and relationships with family and friends. I ask for advice in areas where I am weak. In this way, I am a partner in my health care with my physicians.
If all I see is the white coat and medical degrees on the wall, I am missing a building block to useful interaction. I respect and admire my doctors and am thankful for them. I am quick on praise, and criticism is constructive and problem solving in nature. Realistically, I know they have good and bad days, the same as me. They are holding a folder with my personal information, and conversation can open the door to knowing our doctors on a slightly personal level. I know the age and marital status of my doctors, if they have children – and at times, we share situations we have both experienced with our children – and we usually have abbreviated talks about our lives.
As we break down some of the communication barriers, treatment can be more effective. I am quick to praise my neurologist to my primary care physician and vice versa. It seems natural to tell them of my satisfaction, or otherwise, with my care at hospitals and emergency rooms and with my other physicians. So often, all they hear are complaints and, when appropriate, I share experiences like the following one. About 10 years ago, at a 6-month neurological exam, my doctor suspected I was depressed. After a barrage of questions, she gently held my arm and said, “Liz, I can treat this. I know you don’t like medicine, but you are struggling with MS depression.” She explained the physical aspects, and when I learned the details of the problem, I agreed to treatment.
Our doctor/patient relationship was strong enough for her to be able to reach me at my comfort level. When I realized the treatment was improving my quality of life, I called and let her know how grateful I was.
One question I’m asked when I visit my neurologist is, “Has any of your insurance or contact information changed since your last visit?” I give new information readily. This is when I confirm my primary care physician will receive copies of new entries in my record. When I see my physician, I do the same thing for my neurologist.
When I see either doctor, I confirm they know my latest medical information. My doctors appreciate my understanding that they have a need to know anything new in my medical history.
“Need to know” is an intriguing phrase used if one has a secret or top secret clearance and he or she is deciding who really needs the information. However, our health is our concern and should never be kept secret from us; we have a need to know, as do our physicians.