Say What: Things I Wish People Would Say About My MS

My Conversational Wish List

So I decided to be proactive. Below I have listed the things people with MS do not want to hear and some possible alternatives I’d like to hear:

1. Is MS the disease that Jerry Lewis does the telethon for?
How about: Gee, did you get that Jerry Lewis phone number last Labor Day? I really want to call and donate right now.

2. It’s definitely not THAT hot in here, it’s just you.
How about: Here, let me put a chair by the open refrigerator door so you can sit in front of it.

3. Come on, you’re not tired. Don’t be a party pooper. Everybody is tired. You’re not the only one.
How about: Gee, I certainly would enjoy your company because you are so immensely popular, but at the same time I understand that the most prominent symptom of MS is fatigue. So do whatever is the most comfortable for you.

4. Are you sure the doctor said "MS" and not "PMS"?
How about: Do you think it's going to rain today?

5. If stem cell research works for rats, why can’t it work for you?
How about: I just wrote a letter to my senator pushing for the new Stem Cell Research Bill. In fact, I have organized thousands of people to write and work actively to put stem cell research higher on the list of priority funding for healthcare issues.

6. Are you drunk?
How about: I’m drunk. Ignore everything I say.